This will no doubt bring out some interesting opinions....I know I have some thoughts on this subject. So I decided to write them down. I have NEVER in my life, experienced this much drama in my friendships, as I have since being in my 30s vs when I was a teen. Partly my fault? Of course. I will never sit and say it was always my "friend" who acted crazy. Like I said in my previous post, we all have a little crazy in us!
I will say women are the same, if not worse, than what they were during their raging hormonal years as a teen. It is, to me, more amplified. I have talked to many of my friends who are my age, if not OLDER, and they are experiencing the same petty, stupid, immature games I have experienced in the last year. I am not the only one, you see.
Some say that I am a passionate person when it comes to my friends. And I agree. I have been told this more than once, believe me. And I take this as a compliment. I CARE about them. I would do anything FOR them. But if you are not willing to do the same for me, then why are we friends? I give a lot in my relationships. I do really believe that. Sometimes too much and then I expect more from people based on what I am giving. And that is really not fair. I mean, do we all normally just give in order to receive? I don't. Some people give just so they can get something in return. Like, for instance, watching someones child for them and then really only doing it so you can say, hey, I watched your kids now can you watch mine? Is that really fair? NO. I don't think so. I do for my friends, because I love them. All I expect from them is when I need them, for them to be there. And in my 30's for the very first time in my life, I had to let people go. They weren't doing for me anymore and I was doing for them. They never saw my point of view, only theirs, and it was one sided. And I was frankly, sick of it. NEVER ONCE, in my life, have I ever lost a friend, until I was in my 30's. It is quite sad, you see. You would think women would become more mature, more understanding as they get older. In my experience, it is the opposite. And I am NOT innocent in any of this. I have found myself on more than one occasion being totally irrational and immature, especially with Facebook now, it is easy to be this way. That is why I decided to do this blog, so I don't get myself in trouble on Facebook. (FYI-I haven't been very personal on FB lately, as I am trying to be more mature myself.LOL.)
I also decided that me being me, is not a bad thing. I am confident in myself, more that I have ever been. It is because of these lost friendships that I have learned to shut my mouth and possibly learn to trust differently. Sometimes things are not what they seem and it is NOT up to me to show their true colors. It is not my place to be ignorant and say things and gossip. I have stopped that completely and am very proud of myself for doing so. In getting rid of my toxic friends, and me being NOT toxic in return, I have found new, stronger friendships based on honestly, trust and simplicity. It is okay if I have not seen my best friend in a month. It is okay that I have not talked to my best friend in a while on the phone, who lives across the USA (Erin) because she knows I am here and I love her. I am more confident in my friendships with my girlfriends now than I ever have been. And I truly believe it is because of this last year. I am a true believer in everything happens for a reason. Although I miss these women in my life, I am okay without them, and they are okay without me. Sometimes, you just have to let go....and that is okay. Life will move on and your TRUE friends will still be there for you. No matter what!
With love,
Chrissy
Monday, November 7, 2011
My first Blog Post ever!
Hi everyone,
Welcome to my new blog. It is funny with me being someone who normally has a lot to say, I have never had one of these. So, here I begin. I have to think of something and I can't. So I will start with my children and what they are up to, and introduce my boyfriend:)
Matthew- Matt is 14 yrs old a freshman at Downers Grove North, my Alma mater. I am very proud of him that he is loving school. It was a hard thing we went through over the summer, when I decided to grant his wish of living with his dad, Mark. But besides some minor grade problems, he is doing well. He is finding his way, and becoming quite the handsome young man. He is 6 feet and a half inches tall and wears a size 13 shoe. He is HUGE. He has grown 7 inches in two short years. It is safe to say that he is no longer my baby boy :( He played football and loved it. And he wants to play all through high school. While I am still afraid of the sport, I am proud of him. He is still your typical teen, mouthing off and growing up fast. I cannot even believe in 4 short years, he will be in college. It is bittersweet. Matt and I have been at odds for so long, and we are FINALLY getting back to the way we were, best friends. baby steps, I say to myself all the time. Baby steps.
Joshua- Joshua is 6 and half yrs old. He keeps reminding us he will be 7 soon. He is a little too eager to grow up and is much older than his years, in intelligence. I am, of course, bias! His teacher says he is the smartest in his class. He read before kindergarten and is good at everything, sports wise. One day he wants to be a professional baseball player, the next it is soccer and last night it was hockey. The funny thing is, he is SO good, I would not be surprised if he plays something in college for sure. He has a passion for sports, like mama! Next up is his first time playing basketball, which I am sure he will then say he is going to the NBA one day! Ha! He is my over achiever, my talkaholic, sweet and honest(almost too honest) little lover boy. His smile melts you......
Megan-Megan is 17 yrs old. She is Daryl's daughter. She came into my life 2 years ago. She is a beautiful young woman and is also in a state of duress. being a teen is hard, this day and age. She is a tough cookie. She has a lot of love that we and my extended family have given her and hopefully one day, she will see us for what we are, and become a part of this family forever. We miss her terribly. But she will always be part of us, whether or not she feels it. We KNOW it.
Daryl- Oh, Daryl. Hmmm...what can I say about the man who has turned my world upside down? He is wonderful. He is handsome. He melts me with his smirk of a smile, every time. He is so smart, and he doesn't ever realize how much I learn from him everyday. He is the hardest working man I know, next to my dad, of course. He is the most UNSELFISH person I have ever met. A great man, a great friend and an unbelievable boyfriend. To live with him and be with him, is an honor I cherish. Sometimes, things aren't perfect, and that is OK. He teaches me that no matter what, he is not going anywhere, even when I mess up from time to time and turn into "Crazy Chrissy". Come on, we all have a little crazy in us, right? Daryl is also something else. He is a great DAD. It is sad to me that his own daughter and ex don't see this. But I see it everyday, with my kids. Whether or not he is theirs, he is so great to them. He knew stepping into this relationship with me, that I was a package deal. And although he may butt heads with them sometimes, he is so patient and caring with them. Our lives are better with him as a role model. We are truly blessed.
OK, so this is my family. Now that that is out of the way....I wonder what I will say next?
With love,
Chrissy
Welcome to my new blog. It is funny with me being someone who normally has a lot to say, I have never had one of these. So, here I begin. I have to think of something and I can't. So I will start with my children and what they are up to, and introduce my boyfriend:)
Matthew- Matt is 14 yrs old a freshman at Downers Grove North, my Alma mater. I am very proud of him that he is loving school. It was a hard thing we went through over the summer, when I decided to grant his wish of living with his dad, Mark. But besides some minor grade problems, he is doing well. He is finding his way, and becoming quite the handsome young man. He is 6 feet and a half inches tall and wears a size 13 shoe. He is HUGE. He has grown 7 inches in two short years. It is safe to say that he is no longer my baby boy :( He played football and loved it. And he wants to play all through high school. While I am still afraid of the sport, I am proud of him. He is still your typical teen, mouthing off and growing up fast. I cannot even believe in 4 short years, he will be in college. It is bittersweet. Matt and I have been at odds for so long, and we are FINALLY getting back to the way we were, best friends. baby steps, I say to myself all the time. Baby steps.
Joshua- Joshua is 6 and half yrs old. He keeps reminding us he will be 7 soon. He is a little too eager to grow up and is much older than his years, in intelligence. I am, of course, bias! His teacher says he is the smartest in his class. He read before kindergarten and is good at everything, sports wise. One day he wants to be a professional baseball player, the next it is soccer and last night it was hockey. The funny thing is, he is SO good, I would not be surprised if he plays something in college for sure. He has a passion for sports, like mama! Next up is his first time playing basketball, which I am sure he will then say he is going to the NBA one day! Ha! He is my over achiever, my talkaholic, sweet and honest(almost too honest) little lover boy. His smile melts you......
Megan-Megan is 17 yrs old. She is Daryl's daughter. She came into my life 2 years ago. She is a beautiful young woman and is also in a state of duress. being a teen is hard, this day and age. She is a tough cookie. She has a lot of love that we and my extended family have given her and hopefully one day, she will see us for what we are, and become a part of this family forever. We miss her terribly. But she will always be part of us, whether or not she feels it. We KNOW it.
Daryl- Oh, Daryl. Hmmm...what can I say about the man who has turned my world upside down? He is wonderful. He is handsome. He melts me with his smirk of a smile, every time. He is so smart, and he doesn't ever realize how much I learn from him everyday. He is the hardest working man I know, next to my dad, of course. He is the most UNSELFISH person I have ever met. A great man, a great friend and an unbelievable boyfriend. To live with him and be with him, is an honor I cherish. Sometimes, things aren't perfect, and that is OK. He teaches me that no matter what, he is not going anywhere, even when I mess up from time to time and turn into "Crazy Chrissy". Come on, we all have a little crazy in us, right? Daryl is also something else. He is a great DAD. It is sad to me that his own daughter and ex don't see this. But I see it everyday, with my kids. Whether or not he is theirs, he is so great to them. He knew stepping into this relationship with me, that I was a package deal. And although he may butt heads with them sometimes, he is so patient and caring with them. Our lives are better with him as a role model. We are truly blessed.
OK, so this is my family. Now that that is out of the way....I wonder what I will say next?
With love,
Chrissy
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