This will no doubt bring out some interesting opinions....I know I have some thoughts on this subject. So I decided to write them down. I have NEVER in my life, experienced this much drama in my friendships, as I have since being in my 30s vs when I was a teen. Partly my fault? Of course. I will never sit and say it was always my "friend" who acted crazy. Like I said in my previous post, we all have a little crazy in us!
I will say women are the same, if not worse, than what they were during their raging hormonal years as a teen. It is, to me, more amplified. I have talked to many of my friends who are my age, if not OLDER, and they are experiencing the same petty, stupid, immature games I have experienced in the last year. I am not the only one, you see.
Some say that I am a passionate person when it comes to my friends. And I agree. I have been told this more than once, believe me. And I take this as a compliment. I CARE about them. I would do anything FOR them. But if you are not willing to do the same for me, then why are we friends? I give a lot in my relationships. I do really believe that. Sometimes too much and then I expect more from people based on what I am giving. And that is really not fair. I mean, do we all normally just give in order to receive? I don't. Some people give just so they can get something in return. Like, for instance, watching someones child for them and then really only doing it so you can say, hey, I watched your kids now can you watch mine? Is that really fair? NO. I don't think so. I do for my friends, because I love them. All I expect from them is when I need them, for them to be there. And in my 30's for the very first time in my life, I had to let people go. They weren't doing for me anymore and I was doing for them. They never saw my point of view, only theirs, and it was one sided. And I was frankly, sick of it. NEVER ONCE, in my life, have I ever lost a friend, until I was in my 30's. It is quite sad, you see. You would think women would become more mature, more understanding as they get older. In my experience, it is the opposite. And I am NOT innocent in any of this. I have found myself on more than one occasion being totally irrational and immature, especially with Facebook now, it is easy to be this way. That is why I decided to do this blog, so I don't get myself in trouble on Facebook. (FYI-I haven't been very personal on FB lately, as I am trying to be more mature myself.LOL.)
I also decided that me being me, is not a bad thing. I am confident in myself, more that I have ever been. It is because of these lost friendships that I have learned to shut my mouth and possibly learn to trust differently. Sometimes things are not what they seem and it is NOT up to me to show their true colors. It is not my place to be ignorant and say things and gossip. I have stopped that completely and am very proud of myself for doing so. In getting rid of my toxic friends, and me being NOT toxic in return, I have found new, stronger friendships based on honestly, trust and simplicity. It is okay if I have not seen my best friend in a month. It is okay that I have not talked to my best friend in a while on the phone, who lives across the USA (Erin) because she knows I am here and I love her. I am more confident in my friendships with my girlfriends now than I ever have been. And I truly believe it is because of this last year. I am a true believer in everything happens for a reason. Although I miss these women in my life, I am okay without them, and they are okay without me. Sometimes, you just have to let go....and that is okay. Life will move on and your TRUE friends will still be there for you. No matter what!
With love,
Chrissy
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